Man Up: Start Fixing The Trouble That Girls Cause.
This one is for all those singles guys out there who are having trouble with dating.
If you ask girls on dates and get rejected and don't understand why, or you don't ask girls out on dates because you're afraid of rejection or the "Static Cling Factor," don't worry. You're not alone. Which is why singles wards keep getting bigger, marriages keep getting rarer, and pressure keeps on going up.
I know it's hard guys. I really do sympathize. That's why I'm sharing the following blurbs of advice in effort to slow down the dreaded 'hanging out' epidemic and/or the rise in 'NCMO'(Non-Committal Make Outs.)
Why are you getting rejected?
Could be any number of reasons, but most likely it's because you're either asking the wrong girl or you're asking the wrong questions. Or you smell.
1) You're asking the wrong girl.
Guys, we get it: she's pretty! But there is a big difference between attraction and chemistry. Being attracted to a girl is important. Having chemistry with a girl is vital! The difference?
Chemistry is a two way connection between you and the girl. Attraction isn't.
No, you shouldn't resign yourself to obese girls with warts and uni-brows. You should, however, stop and think about the girls you're asking out. And the ones you're passing up. Because girls are all about the subtle hints, you have at pay attention.
Watch a girl as she talks to you. Does she blush ever so slightly when you smile at her? How does she hold herself? Does she hang on every word? Does she touch you, especially on the arm? Does she laugh at your jokes? Does she get your jokes?
I agree it's the girls job to let you know if she's interested and some girls suck at it. But you have to put in some effort to try and catch the hints. Otherwise you end up with all the annoying pushy girls because they are, as we say, 'No Effort Required' girls. So try and find someone that fits you, not just someone who fits your schedule of laziness.
2) You're asking the wrong questions
Friend-zoned again huh? If you start off as friends then asking her on a real date becomes a big ordeal and you're both worried about "Changing the relationship" and "What if you lose your precious friendship"... If you had just started out with the right questions, she would have already been thinking about you in 'that way,' and the drama could have been avoided.
Carefully chosen words can make up all the difference for example:
Instead of saying, "Wanna hang out sometime?" Say, "Will you go out on a date with me this Friday night?"
Instead of saying, "Should we do something later?" Say, "There's a movie I want see showing at 6:30pm. Want to be my date?"
Instead of saying, "Would it be cool if I got your number?" Say, "What's your number?"
Instead of saying, "Are you going to the party on Friday?" Say, "Want to be my date to the party on Friday?"
Instead of saying, "Maybe we could do something sometime?" Say, "Want to go on a date with me on Saturday?"
Instead of saying, "A group of us are playing games, wanna come?" Say, "My friends are having a game night. Want to be my date?"
See where I'm going with this?
Ask for what you want. And don't apologize for it. Don't ask for her permission to ask her out, just ask her out.
Always use the word 'date' so she's not confused about your intentions.
Be specific with times and dates so she knows how to plan.
And remember: girls are like buses if you miss this one, there will be another one along in 15 min. Never get discouraged.
Why bother asking girls out at all?
Most guys who refuse to ask, give one of 2 reasons: they don't want to be rejected or they are afraid of, what I like to call, the "Static Cling Factor," It's the instant clutching some girls take to you after one date. No matter how many times you try to shake her off, she just keeps clinging to your shirt.
If you are scared of rejection then MAN UP, and some get confidence in yourself.
How can you expect a girl to like you if YOU don't even like you?
Start by changing the way you talk TO yourself.
If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, how many friends would you have?
If you were as hard on them as you are on yourself, how long would they hang around?
Every time you notice something bad about yourself, instead of harping on it think, would I tell a friend this about themselves? What's it helping?
You have flaws. You have strengths. Congratulations! You're human. Appraise them for what they are and enjoy bettering yourself. Perfection is not required for dating or even marriage. Mind blowing, I know!
And here's a secret that shouldn't have been kept secret: take a shower.
Seriously. Hygiene is more important to a girl than ANYTHING.
Wear clean clothes. Shower. Brush your teeth. Shower. Floss. Shower. Wash your hair, in the shower. Make sure you smell good! Use deodorant or cologne if necessary. *Sigh* Clean boy smell... Anyways, shower.
There are only 3 guys in the world who can pull off the grunge look and still be sexy.You are NOT one of them. Take a shower.
The other thing that keeps guys from dating is the "Static Cling Factor."
Love isn't a requirement for a first date. Yes, I know girls are the worst at understanding this concept, but you guys aren't off the hook.
Man up!Start getting to know someone by dating them.
You'll already know their interested in you romantically, and all you need to figure out is if the two of you work well together.
If it doesn't work out, that's when you work the let's-be-friends angle. Not before.
Think Texas hold 'em instead of 5 card stud.
The 'Romantic interest card' is face up along with the 'Curiosity card' and the 'Hope card.' That's your flop, work with it.
If she reads too much into it, that's her problem. Be honest with her. Don't apologize for not feeling more than you do. She'll get over it. The more guys do this, the less often "Static Cling" will happen.
Be part of the solution, not the problem.
Repeat after me: dating is FUN, not final.
And if you're still afraid to ask her out, here is an easy two step program that is guaranteed to get you off your couch:
Step one: Grow a pair.
Step two: ASK HER OUT.
Have fun dating, boys.
